Monday, January 3, 2011

I am not a kernel of corn and I will not POP.

There are so many funny, wonderful and random things that happen when you're pregnant. Then there are so many people you come across that you want to punch in the face. I seem to be gravitating toward many of the latter, so I figure that if I don't document these lovely encounters, I'll forget all about them and the journey that brought us to this wonderful little face that we'll be seeing for the first time in April. This is also for the wonderful woman who yesterday advised that the women who go on and on about how they were just "meant" to be pregnant and how their bodies feel so complete now that they have a baby growing inside them are full of shit. I'm not saying it's not a wonderful experience, I feel very blessed because I know the little one is going to be rad, but it doesn't replace the fact that I feel like I'm auditioning for "Alien."

That being said, I'll start this blog with a vent. This vent is directed to the three people who, in the past two weeks, have made the comment that I look like I'm going to "pop."

First things first, people. Each of you proceeded this comment with an inquiry as to my due date. I told you I am due in April - which means I HAVE FOUR MONTHS of looking this way. In fact, chances are pretty darn good that I'll be getting even bigger! I'll be registering about 9 on the "pop-ter" scale around late March - just watch out.

Second, when I "have" the baby, in no way can or will it be qualified as "popping." Enough said.

Third, let me be the first to tell you that it looks just how it feels. You think my belly is "popping," just imagine how my back feels, jerks.

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